Sunday, 22 April 2012

Article by Geo: "Geo's Bits and Bytes: WAR!"

5th May 2005 is upon us and everyone who has any kind of love for the games industry should vote for labour.
"Why" you ask???? Well it's freaking obvious isn't it you idiots? WAR. Without war, would we have any decent games?
Games where you can go up to someone and blow their skulls off with a single blast of a 12 gauge shotgun. Without hate and war in the world, we would all be playing 'Kirby's Fucking Wonderworld' and 'Barbie cleans out her pony's shitting stable'. That would be shit. I'd rather get me minime and tear a hole in someones face until their momma cries tears of blood.
Corrupting our youth?...Fuck yeah and I love it. Where is 'Manhunt 2: Hack your eyes off'? (One of the greatest stealth games ever. I should know, I loves stealth. When you sneak up on someone hoping that they won't notice you, then...BAM!!!!!!! you stick your fingers in their ass...awesome...hang on a minute). I am waiting for the sequel.
I know, lets play nice 'Counter Strike' (this is in a world without war by the way). The naughty terrorists (known as the "Naughties" in this nice warless world) have taken our tea cakes, lets go and reason with them.
Bollocks! I love and cherish war with all my being, and like a fellow ninja master once said "Even with my pee-pee".

"WAR!"

VOTE WAR

Back to reality. This weekend the plumester and I are holding our bi-weekly Retro games carnage special. Basically a day and night of me opening a can of whoop ass on the plume, kicking his robot ass and beating his eyes off on every game we play. (Yeah including mario kart you Kafunt).
No matter what you say plume, you cannot escape from the truth.
I can't wait. Dont forget the booze.

GEO'S RANT

One thing that has pissed me off recently and yesterday are shitty little faggot American on-line gamers. I know your supposed to have fun when playing games, I agree with that so much to my core self, right. But do you have to yell and hoot and holler everytime you hit something FFS.

Like this one guy, 'R@gD0LL666' (gay name by the way) was really good, but every kill he would say something freakin' stupid like: "Whhooo hooo got you that time, what's the matter? mummy got your 12 gauge? "Or another time he said: "Whhooo hooo, what a hoot. You couldn't shoot even for the Ethiopians to eat food."And another time he said: "Hoot holler hoot, you shot me in the mouth and I got mouth armour on loser and then you go up to me with your stick and stick it in me and I laugh coz it didnt hurt loser. Then I popped you with my 12 gauge Lamer I am teh L33testerest hoot hoot."
Why cant we have a proper games where everyone ( I mean everyone) plays together on a team? And work together to gain our objectives? Its only ever happened to me once on 'Vietcong' and it was so damn good we played for about 6 hours on the same map. So good!
Also, I hate Micheal Moore because he is a good example of a stupid fat American. Wow, he can right the wrongs of America but God dont he love dose mcdonalds. Fat shit.

 "WAR!!!!!!" 

GEOS RAVE

"WWWWWAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!"

Went to the Wrestlin' with me brother on 25th April in Cardiff. It was so good I wanted to weep. VIP treatment, free beer, free dodgy looking food and free Wrestlin'. Saw the Undertaker for the first time.
Awesome night out and when I got home I tombstoned my dog to death. Alright! one up for animal cruelty.

 "WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR???"

Until next month - MAKE IT SEW!




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